Don't Waste Your Depression

I recently shared a video, on Facebook, where a YouTuber spoke openly and honestly about his depression.  It was a powerful video, and an important plea for people to seek help. 

Many of you, my friends and faithful followers then asked me, on that thread, or in private messages, how I was doing and about my own struggle with depression. 

So here is my confession. I frequently battle depression.  In the past I have struggled with disordering depression.  At my worst I could lay all day on the floor under a blanket feeling naked and exposed as the spiritual weight of an anchor was pulling my soul out of my chest.  

When God is Quiet.

As I have mentioned before I don’t like to wait.  I don’t know if it is a spiritual flaw or something else, but I avoid waiting.  However, the reality of life is that we will always have something to wait for.  Right now I am waiting for a mechanic.  The vehicle I was riding in decided it did not want to go to the village today.  So we sit and wait. 

In this moment I have had some time to stop and think through the question, Paul Grenier, that you asked on Facebook. 

“Where have you felt the presence of God in your new home?”  

It's Shocking

Early on in our journey one of the most common questions about moving, and living, cross culturally is the question of cultural differences, and the idea of culture shock.  

WE LANDED!

We landed! Welcome to Africa.  We spent the last year, and some change, in France, learning French.  We changed the country of our destination in Africa.  And our family grew by another member now we are a family of 5.  And as the Language learning center in France was the most fertile place in the world we are expecting to be a family of 6 in July.  Ummm yeah, that was unexpected. 

My Contradiction

I am a walking contradiction.  I love to write. I love create.  In middle school I often tried to make cartoon characters and tell their stories.  My life’s ambition was to be a cartoonist. 

But, I had a problem.  I struggled with “learning disabilities” (I think the official term was Perceptually Impaired).  Specifically, my impairment existed in the domain of language (though numbers were affected as well).  Trying to understand language was trying to stop my feet from sinking into the sands of spelling, grammar, pronunciation, and syntax as the tides of education swept over me. I struggled through middle school, high school, and college, gradually finding less and less joy in writing and creating.